Tuesday, 30 September 2008

Afraid of the dark

I woke up this morning around 7am, a fairly decent week time. I started to iron some clothes for the day, a very good task to allow me to wake up smoothly (yes it's weird but it works for me). And then I realized something really, really terrible: it was still dark. Really dark, almost complete night. I couldn't believe it. I rubbed my eyes very hard, and it was still dark. I checked for the date, just in case I had been dreaming we were still in September, but no, it was true. September 30th and it's dark in the morning. September 30th and winter is already starting.

Winter here is not the annoying and wet season I'm used to, when you cover yourself under a raincoat and suffer a couple of months of boring evenings, not so much even since they are cut by Christmas time. Winter here is longer and darker. You wake up the morning, go to work, it's dark; you come back home, even at 4pm, it's dark; you basically don't see daylight, and when you do, since the sun is hardly over the horizon, it's not even worth the experience. Human beings were not designed for living, socializing, shopping or eating by night. I wasn't, anyway.

I can hear you telling me: you've been through this last year, why not again ? Well, first, last year, I had just arrived here, I was still enthusiastic about the place and happy to live a different life. And second, it's only after you've been through it, when days are reasonably long again, that you realize how low your mood was during these seven or so months. At first you honestly believe this "seasonal affective disorder" you've heard about is not for you, and then you find out it is.

By chance, today, by the time I was over with my ironing, night was gone and replaced by a bright blue sky. Maybe I'm just worrying too early. Maybe it's still time to make mental daylight savings.

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